Peter Palmer: Nissan Rogue Trail Warrior Project: Oh. My. Word.

Great jumpin Johannes Erwin Eugen Rommel, are you kidding me? You have got to be kidding me! No, Nissan is not kidding. This is an SUV with friggin’ tracks! Okay, it’s just kind of a show car deal, and not a factory option, but it is made up from available off the shelf parts.

So you could kinda buy this? And drive it around town? Cool! Okay, well, yeah, no, you can’t.

Tank You Kindly

Turns out those tracks are simply listed as “snow/sand tracks,” which I can understand. It does raise the question of how I would get to either the snow or sand in the first place, because, what, am I supposed to trailer this thing and then use it? Also, I know that you can, in some instances, actually drive tracked vehicles on the road without a problem. Don’t ask.

Okay, here, it works like this: When I was in college, I knew this guy, Jeff, who owned a half-track. Yeah, I know, strange. But anyway, from what I gather, you can run rubberized tracks on almost any tracked vehicle, up to and including tanks, and not chew up the pavement the way steel tracks do. The track set up on this Nissan Rogue Warrior Trail Project looks to be semi-rubberized with cleats so you might (might) be able to get away with just driving it around. By the by, Jeff was seriously in the market for an used tank to play with. He was heir to a lumber fortune, and had plenty of woods and stuff to go crashing around in. He had a friend with a tank (a World War II Sherman I recall) and said it was amazing to drive.

Literally nothing stood in your way or slowed you down. Not even fully grown fir trees.

Anyway, the Nissan Rogue Warrior Trail Project features not only a full snow track system, but also a special camo exterior wrap. I’m not a big fan of this kind of camo. Yes, I know it works, but I’m more partial to the old-school wavy patterns rather than the newer “digital” schemes.”

Photo: Nissan North America.

Armageddon Ready

The Nissan Rogue Warrior Trail Project is based on the redesigned 2017 Rogue crossover, which is Nissan’s best-selling model, so it’s a good place to start. Nissan says the Rogue Warrior Trail Project, or NRWTP – pronounced nurWART in military parlance (if this were a DoD thing I bet) – takes “family adventure ready Rogue design to the next level.” Yah think? I bet it also really gets those full on prepper types (you know, the morons that are anxiously awaiting some sort of societal level catastrophe so they can finally be “right”) all in a lather too.

The NRWTP is a special one-off project created solely for this year’s New York International Auto show. Nissan points out that of the two dominating features of the NRWTP (say it with me now: “nurWART”), the first is arguably the exterior design treatment that combines a custom camouflage body wrap (sadly not painted) and a matching khaki-painted track system and military-style yellow glassworks; headlights windshield and side glass, etc.

And then there are the snow/sand tracks.

Photo: Nissan North America.

Track Attack

Those would be DOMINATOR Tracks, yes all caps, and yes, yelling “DOMINATOR!” might be acceptable in this case. They come courtesy of American Track Truck, Inc., which is a hysterical name, and even funnier if you say it out loud, over and over again as fast as you can. The tracks clock in at 48 inches long, 30 inches high, and 15 inches wide, all of which are very impressive measurements. They directly replace the Rogue’s regular wheels and tires although the suspension and wheel wells were modified slightly to simply fit the track system into place.

Otherwise, says Nissan, all drivetrain components, including the 2.5-liter DOHC 16-valve inline 4-cylinder engine, along with the Xtronic transmission are standard factory gear.

Photo: Nissan North America.

Performance Tech

Said mill is rated at 170 horsepower and 175 lb-ft. of torque, which should be more than enough for climbing snow banks, sand dunes, or intimidating the bejeebus out of hybrid drivers. Seriously. This is one of those rare instances where too much power is a bad thing. You can, potentially, end up throwing snow or sand or dirt all over the place and simply dig yourself in deeper and deeper. And honestly, if you get stuck in a vehicle with tracks, well I don’t have much sympathy for you son.

Other goodies found on the Nissan Rogue Warrior Trail Project include custom fender flares, an ARB Gear Basket, a big honkin’ LED light bar, and a Warn 4K winch.

“If you want to stand out from the crowd during a day on the slopes or the beach, this is the vehicle to take,” said Michael Bunce, Vice President, Product Planning, Nissan North America, Inc., in the greatest understatement since Erwin Rommel said, “In a man to man fight, the winner is he who has one more round in his magazine.”

Tony Borroz has spent his entire life racing antique and sports cars. He means well, even if he has a bias towards lighter, agile cars rather than big engine muscle cars or family sedans.